Bathrobe as symbol of love 2


I’ve bought bathrobes for two men in my life.  The second man became my husband (and still is).  I thought the first man was going to be my husband but it didn’t work out that way.  We got close but no further.


Buying a bathrobe meant to me that he was going to be a long-term part of my life.  I shopped for it carefully, trying to find just the right color and texture. 


The signal I got from my husband that I was going to be a lasting part of his life was when he gave me space for my things at his place.


Other signals and sign-posts along the way that indicate longevity were:



  • Being introduced to his family.  (In general, women open up our lives to men much quicker than they open their lives to us.)

  • Accompanying him to special events.

  • Making plans for New Year’s Eve well in advance of the date.  (My sister told me, “If you spend New Year’s with him, that’s your man.”  She was right.)

  • Exchanging keys.

For me, buying the bathrobe was significant because I don’t tend to buy gifts for boyfriends.  Buying a robe, a not inexpensive purchase, meant that I intended this man to be around a long time.  He is and he still has that bathrobe.  Whenever he puts it on it reminds me of our courtship.


I was so shy when I gave it to him – not wanting to act like it was as big a deal as it was for me yet not wanting him to think it was something I did frequently or casually either.


What signals do you look for or give to feel that your relationship has become serious and will go the distance?


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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2 thoughts on “Bathrobe as symbol of love

  • paulawashington

    Yep… and anther way to tell if he’s your man is if he gives you all his numbers to contact him. The beeper, the cell phone, the house phone and the job number….Okay