A Love Letter to a Friend 18


A group of friends and I went to see a matinée screening of Sex and the City yesterday.  We enjoyed it.  Four of us had lunch afterward. 


During the various lunch conversations, it became clear that one of my friends was struggling with feeling good about herself, as she has been for some time.  She even said that she “doesn’t think that things tend to work out for her.”  She is a woman who has so many gifts and skills but since she can’t see them, feel them, learn from them and let them be guideposts for her life, she ends up feeling quietly miserable.


This weighed on my mind, so after rushing home to bake a delicious plum cake (if I do so say so myself – lol) to take to dinner at another friend and his wife’s home and after sharing a warm evening of delicious food and conversation in their beautiful home,* an idea popped in my mind.


I decided to write a love letter to my friend.  Before, I restricted love letters to my husband or my children.  Sure, I’ve written letters of reference for this friend and others.  I’m also known for being a person who often sends birthday, congrats, and condolence cards. (Recently, I’ve been using more blank cards to write my own words instead of relying on writers from greeting card companies although that really doesn’t matter does it?  No need to toot my own horn because it truly is the thought that counts!) I sent a love letter to one friend about 15 years ago, but she thought I was hitting on her for a minute (because I described why I thought she was physically beautiful and that I saw why men would be attracted to her).  She has image issues but that’s another story for another time.


Anyhow…I came up with seven/eight things I admired about her.  I am putting the letter in the mail tomorrow post haste.  I know that I could have emailed it, but I wanted her to have a physical letter in her hands and to feel the celebratory spirit that enveloped me as I wrote the letter (long-hand).


I won’t go into details but will give a brief outline of the sorts of things I said:



  • I admire your aesthetic sense…

  • I admire the fact that you can hunt down a bargain…

  • I admire that you shop and dine throughout the neighborhoods of the city and don’t restrict yourself to any one area in the way you live…

  • I admire the fact that you do what you say you are going to do…

  • I admire the fact that any place we’ve gone together – you know people there…

As I finished this letter to my friend, it occurred to me that there were some other friends and relatives that I should/could send a letter of admiration.  I may include it with birthday cards or it may be sent as a stand-alone, random kiss from this queen in the country of herself. 


Don’t you think this is a great idea?  Then, go head, send one or two yourself.  I’m sure there is someone (or many ones) in your life that would appreciate such a gesture as well.


*(We had a great time, by the way, JL and it was wonderful to go from being collaborator and email friends to breaking bread together!)


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

18 thoughts on “A Love Letter to a Friend

  • Amanda

    Here from NCLM

    That is one of the most beautiful ideas that I’ve heard of lately. How perfect! It reminds me of a note I received from my Dad in the mail one time just letting me know he was proud of me and that he loves me. It was so touching. And the fact that it was out of the blue made it that much more special. And of course the fact that he took the time to write it, put a stamp on it, and walk it to his mail box…enough said.

    I think it’s time to dig out my stationery. :-)

  • CDeacon

    What a great post! I can imagine how much your letter will mean to this friend. Once things settle down for me a bit (I have a 3 month old at home and am in the middle of a move), I will write some love letters myself.

    Oh, and I loved Sex & the City, too. :)

    NaComLeavMo

  • DC

    I love this idea! I’ll definitely have to steal it. :)

    You don’t have to steal it, I’ve given it away for free!
    Candelaria

  • CG

    As the recipient of this love letter, I have to tell you I was moved to tears. It truly is not very often that I feel that I am worthy of some of the wonderful friends I have in my life. To know that you are loved and valued by a friend in writing and in a spontaneous way is so touching… BTW, I found this post by chance. I was in search of confirmation of your actual birthday and thought that I’d Google you. I had no idea that this would be here. I love you CS.

  • CMG

    As the recipient of the love letter, I have to tell you I was moved to tears… It truly is not very often that I feel that I am worthy of some of the wonderful friends I have in my life. To know that you are loved, understood, and valued by a friend in writing and in a spontaneous way is beyond words… BTW, I found this post by chance. I was in search of confirmation of CS’s actual birthday and thought that I’d Google her. I had no idea that this would be here. I love you CS.

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