I’ve bought bathrobes for two men in my life. The second man became my husband (and still is). I thought the first man was going to be my husband but it didn’t work out that way. We got close but no further.
Buying a bathrobe meant to me that he was going to be a long-term part of my life. I shopped for it carefully, trying to find just the right color and texture.
The signal I got from my husband that I was going to be a lasting part of his life was when he gave me space for my things at his place.
Other signals and sign-posts along the way that indicate longevity were:
- Being introduced to his family. (In general, women open up our lives to men much quicker than they open their lives to us.)
- Accompanying him to special events.
- Making plans for New Year’s Eve well in advance of the date. (My sister told me, “If you spend New Year’s with him, that’s your man.” She was right.)
- Exchanging keys.
For me, buying the bathrobe was significant because I don’t tend to buy gifts for boyfriends. Buying a robe, a not inexpensive purchase, meant that I intended this man to be around a long time. He is and he still has that bathrobe. Whenever he puts it on it reminds me of our courtship.
I was so shy when I gave it to him – not wanting to act like it was as big a deal as it was for me yet not wanting him to think it was something I did frequently or casually either.
What signals do you look for or give to feel that your relationship has become serious and will go the distance?