Keep your clothes in YOUR chair 8


There are two chairs in our bedroom – one closer to his side of the room and one closer to my side.  (Ever since I grew up sharing a bedroom with my sister, I’ve divided rooms in this way – my side, your side.  The neat side…that would be me, the MeSsY side…that would be you.)

It’s a minor irritation but one that bothers me nevertheless.  I want him to not ever put his clothes on my chair. (He doesn’t do it that often but it bugs me to no end when he does.)


I don’t know why this bugs me but it feels like an invasion.  Because…because…okay – because:



  • I don’t ever put my clothes in his chair;
  • I clean my chair of all items regularly;
  • It’s my chair, he has his own.
  • The idea of clothing s p r a w l doesn’t resonate with me.  (This is why I wash and put away the laundry every week – to avoid sprawl.)

The few times a month when he leaves the toilet seat up doesn’t bug me.  He leaves the seat up and I put the seat down (having learned not to ever sit down without checking first on toilet-seat position).  In fact I always put the seat and the lid down on the toilet – it looks unsanitary to me to have the seat and lid up.

I don’t bug about:



  • the fact that he leaves lights turned on,
  • or doors open,
  • or doesn’t refill the ice cube tray ever

It’s easy to flip the lights off, touch the door so it shuts all the way, and refill the ice tray because I don’t like to see it hanging out on the counter empty. 


But a pair of socks or pants or pajama bottoms that don’t belong to me taking up residence in my chair! Nah-uh.  Don’t do it.

O-kay?!


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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8 thoughts on “Keep your clothes in YOUR chair

  • Jim

    War of the Roses, this is not. Hopefully he will forever invade your private chair with his clothes from time to time and that stays the depth of your dissatisfaction. I used to have a bad thing about the dried solid teabag wrapped around the teaspoon with it’s own string… Now, because I mentioned how much it annoyed me, it’s kind of amusing, and if she were gone I’d miss it.

  • monilade

    Girl, I know what you mean. I grew up sharing a room with a messy, messy sister and when we had to clean our rooom, invaribly I would end up helping her clean her side. If I didn’t we would never make it outside to play. This also applied to all household chores which had to be finished before we could play. And … don’t get me started about the toilet seat. I agree with you I prefer to put the lid down after use, why does it need to be up; what if you drop something in there!!! I can tell you we are in the minority from my experience with both women and men. Men definitely don’t put the seat down, never mind the lids, must be because of the urnials in the men’s rooms in public buildings. We must be kindred spirits you hit on several things that annoy me also, but I try not to stress out over them. Noone would feel my pain!!!!

  • Ambi Bambi

    Seems like you’re talking about me mommy, but you’re not. We have our own closets and hooks on the outside of the closet, every time there’s something on my hook, like right now that doesn’t bother me, I’m annoyed and of course I get the question about where’s my grey shirt, where’s my shorts…if you put them on your hook or in your closet there wouldn’t be a problem…love you

  • Sarah Caron

    Pet peeves are a funny thing and yours had me cracking up. (Mine has to be leaving ties hanging from my coat rack. Seriously. It’s called a coat rack because it’s for coats! And I bought him a tie rack!)