Liquor is Quicker

“Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.” These lyrics from the old song influenced my selection of a gift for my husband to commemorate our third anniversary. I am a teetoler. Have been all of my life. Occasionally I will taste wine to be sociable but 98% of the time I don’t even take a taste. Just doesn’t do anything for me.

As I stood in the liquor store, I remember my husband liked a particular tequila he’d had at a friend’s house well over a year ago. I decided that I would buy it for him. I described the bottle to the clerk and told him I wanted the gold bottle. I remembered that the “gold” was what my husband and his friend had been rhapsodic over. Imagine my surprise, amazement and chagrin when I found out that said liquor, Patron, cost $58. The silver was cheaper but still expensive. Now, if you’re going to get someone such a gift, you don’t do a switch because the price is substantially cheaper. I mean I could get a bottle of tequila for $10. That would be cheating. I wouldn’t buy Pepsi for a friend who drinks Coke and is adamant about it. (I grew up poor and we had brown soda or orange soda or whatever other color soda that my mother purchased for the week. She made her selection based on money at hand and what was on sale. It strikes me funny when some of my children’s kids ask for specific brands of soda. They know what they want. I drank what we had. Times are different. (Soda is something else I rarely drink.)

I experienced sticker shock in the liquor store. Nothing I drink is as expensive as the beer, wine, rum and tequila in the store. Even pomegranate juice is a bargain in comparison. Since having my consciousness raised about bottled water and the energy costs associated with shipping it and all that plastic it creates, I’ve purchased a Brita filter and am off the bottled water. I don’t drink coffee, either. That’s another expensive drink with a whole slew of opinions about which coffee is best, a cult of personality about where and how to drink it. I go to Dunkin Donuts for donuts or muffins – go figure!

I battled with myself in the liquor store. To buy or not to buy? It would be only the second purchase of liquor by me for him in our relationship. To substitute or not to substitute? I remember an experience with my daughter when she was in her teens over ice cream. I was cooking dinner for her and some friends for her birthday. She requested Breyer’s French Vanilla ice cream specifically. I bought the store brand like I did whenever Breyer’s or her other favorite, Hood Patchwork, wasn’t on sale. I thought nothing of it. Well, she had a teen diva meltdown and explained to me that there was a substantial difference in taste, it was her birthday and I should have gotten her what she wanted. She has grown up now and has bills and a mortgage to pay, but she still buys Breyer’s because that’s what she likes.

So, because of her lesson, and because one doesn’t always have to be cheap, and because I love him so much that I wanted to give him something extra special to say “you’re worth all the gold in the world to me,” I bought my husband the top-shelf Patron. He was surprised and pleased. I hope he savors it because it’ll be a long, long time before I go into a liquor store again.