Who Deserves It More than You? 7



Have you ever bought yourself an armful of flowers and put them in every vase, vessel, jar or glass you have throughout your home?


Have you?  Have you done it just for you?  (And not because company was coming.)


Have you ever eaten, in solitude, a perfect dinner, on your best plate/china, with your best crystal goblet brimming with your special liquid pleasure, and candlelight, and a cloth napkin with soft music playing in the background just ‘cause you feel like it and who deserves it more than you?
Have you savored a meal, really listened to a song, soaked in a bath, noticed the beauty of the path you are walking, absorbed the feel of the hand you are holding even if it is your own?
If you have not – why not?  Shame on you.  Get to it!
Fall in love with yourself.  This is the love that allows all other loves.
Love your life even if you’re working to make it better, more, less, secure or stable.
Despite the pain I’ve been for the last few days (hence my hiatus) there have been some things I’ve loved.
Food – I steamed swordfish and topped it with a sauce of white wine/butter/capers/parsley and seasoning.  I accompanied this with a simple green salad.  It was the first time I’d cooked swordfish and it was sublime.  The fish moist, the sauce flavorful, the salad fresh.
Literature – I finished my fourth book by Eddy Harris and picked up Eat, Pray, Love.  I am in love with this book and the only reason I am not reading it now instead of writing these words is that I tore through the first third of it in less than 10 hours and am forcing myself to savor it through the weekend because I will crave it once it’s finished.
Music – My husband is gathering the holiday music and I will be filling the house with carols, old and new.  I love holiday music!  I want to have people over or go somewhere and sing Christmas songs; not just sing them but belt them out!
Tradition – The first two batches of Christmas and holiday cards are addressed.  It is my yearly hello to friends-family-acquaintances.  And I beat my cousin this year.  He got my card first because I mailed his card the day after Thanksgiving! 
Things to look forward to – Babyface concert; leading a Discover Roxbury holiday shopping tour; a good friend coming in town unexpectedly for a visit; a photography exhibit of works by Charles Teenie Harris, Jr.; a friend who’s a real gourmet has invited me & T to dinner; my third anniversary (!); the ebbing of pain; and seeing my sweet granddaughter soon.

There really is joy all around despite all the other stuff that is not joy.  Those things will wait for other entries and moods.
But right now, the only person I can think of who deserves to be in love with themself more than me is you!  Have at it.


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

7 thoughts on “Who Deserves It More than You?

  • Carolyn Ruth

    I am exactly here. I have experienced a less than satisfactory lifestyle since February 2006 and I am working my way back to the light–imagine that. I have been living in my own shadow wanting something much more but settling for much less. I have recently begun a love affair with myself and I am having the best time. I feel like the Prodigal Son who has come to herself and has decided to return to the Father’s house of wealth and elegance. I deserve the best and I have decided to allow the best back into my life.

    I am moving to an wonderful new home in an area I know little about but I am eager to explore and receive from my new community. I am about to purchase all new furniture and furnishings and this is breath taking while calming at the same time. I have been walking my new halls on the Stage of My Imagination since first seeing it. A new room fills itself with wonderful furnishings each night before I fall asleep. This is so stimulating and revitalizing. I find it a necessity to re-invent myself every several years–it puts most people off balance but it strengthens my very core. Happy New Year…happy new me!

    Thanks Candelaria for confirming my exhilarating life experience. Yes, let’s go for it. I am!

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