You think you’re going to write one thing – then you find yourself writing another. – Candelaria Silva

For the first time in a while, I find myself with time to write during the day time – time when I would normally have been at a paid job, getting work done for others. I plan to share with you my writing process and some of the writing I’m producing. The book that had been most pressing for me was Pucker, the first in a trilogy of novels for middle school to high school students.

Lo and behold, another body of work began popping out – a book of essays – whose working title is Nice/Nasty: Rants, Raves and Observations and Color, Power & Other Stuff. (My mother used to call me “nice/nasty” and it seems an appropriate title.)

Whenever I get angry, agitated, upset or thoughtful, I write my feelings down. Before I knew it, I had twenty of these rant/rave essays written. These seem to be most pressing on me now. Ideas, phrases, feelings are colliding in my mind – competing for attention.

On Saturday, I found myself dawdling instead of getting ready to go out and attend an event at my old job. That got me to thinking about how detached I have come to feel, in one short month, toward the place I used to work, the role I used to play, the events I use to produce and manage. I realized that I could easily never go back there. I decided to go to the computer and put down my feelings and examine why I find it so easy to be as fully distanced from something and someone as I used to be fully involved.

This work in progress is

7 thoughts on “You think you’re going to write one thing – then you find yourself writing another.”

Caroline H October 27, 2007 at 8:49 am

Hi Candelaria –

I can relate to “Detachment.” I’ve also wondered why it is often so easy for me to detach myself from people and places I’ve had such an emotional investment in. It makes you feel like you might be an unfeeling person, even though you know you’re not. I’m terrible about keeping in touch with people and the only long time friends I have are those that make the effort the keep in touch with me.

I have really been thinking about this issue the past several days because the day after I read “Detachment” I heard that and a friend I was once very close to died. He was only 43 years old. His obituary online was just one sentence long stating his name, age and occupation. It seemed so impersonal and cold. It made me feel even more regret that I didn’t try to contact him at least once since we lost touch to let him know that he made an impact on my life. I will go to his funeral and let his family know it, but it’s not same.

I don’t know if this experience will cause me to keep in constant touch with all my old friends from now on. However, I do think I will be more proactive about communicating to people what they mean/have meant to me, even those I haven’t been in touch with for years.

Sometimes life seems to get filled up with urgent “things” that may even be necessary but are not all that meaningful. I guess I’m hoping that I’ve learned to make a little more time for the meaningful things and to think about my relationships with others.

…not all of that totally on the subject of the essay/entry but it made me think! Thanks for the great piece.