I try to forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you for not choosing me – as girlfriend/woman/wife, as employee, as prize-winner, and as member. I forgive you for making fun of me, for blocking my admittance, for not keeping your promise(s), and for not repaying the loan. I forgive the abandonment, the abuse and the exclusion. I forgive you for not telling the truth, for not sharing your wisdom, for not exposing my naiveté and ignorance, for not challenging me, and for letting me fester. I want to forgive the erosion of belief, the acceptance of less, the withdrawal and closing-off, the weakening of resolve and ambition, and the ambivalence that seems to have taken up permanent residence. I should forgive these but try as I might I cannot give to myself what I have to others. I cannot, yet, forgive myself. <><><> If you like this post, you might also like:
I tried and this I forgave.
It took some time but this I forgave.
It was difficult, there were many false starts but, ultimately, these things I forgave.
