Say what you mean and mean what you say was one of the “snaps” my friends and I used to say when we were growing up in St. Louis. We didn’t really understand what we were saying given the ferocity of our delivery of those words but as I’ve grown, I’ve come to understand them. They’ve come to mind a lot recently as I’ve heard people, particularly politicians and reality TV characters, deny something they’ve said even when their exact words are replayed or repeated to them. “I didn’t mean that…” “What I meant was….” “My comments were taken out-of-context.” “I didn’t say that.” (Yes, you did —, here are your exact words.”) It seems there is a culture of denial and we expect people to know what we mean when we say it and to know that what we mean is ever-changing as it suits us to fit the situation at the time. As a result of observing this in others and seeing in their words and behavior my reflection, I’m becoming quieter, more thoughtful, and much slower to respond. I’m trying to choose my words carefully with everyone from my spouse to my children to my friends to my acquaintances, basically to everyone that I have occasion to speak with. This is difficult to do but a wise practice in this world of the quick retort, the promotion of sound bites, and the elevation of the negative/dramatic/silly (by the social networks and by the media amny of whom seem to lead/slant as much as they reflect). In this age of denying and flip-flopping, which happens on all sides of the political spectrum, I crave honesty and forthrightness . As girls – my friends and I had it right: Say what you mean and mean what you say! – even if we didn’t fully understand the truth of those words. <><><> If you liked this post, you might also like: I Don’t Have An Opinion that I’m Willing to Shre
“I didn’t say that.”
How right you are and what a good reminder for me, a person who always speaks before she thinks. I think people jsut do not take ownership or responsibility for actions and their words. Everything is so fluid. I just watched a You Tube video of Maria Shriver who was giving an address at a university in California. I really liked what she had to say about taking time and pausing before you do or say anything. Have your family or friends noticed this change and is it working for you?
People have noticed that I’m much quieter in most of my conversations and more observant. Sometimes my silence – particularly if it seems like I have things to say – is unsettling. Have to find balance – between spontaneous sharing of thoughts and not sharing at all.
Thanks for making a comment.
Candelaria very wise words “Say what you mean and mean what you say”.
Understanding our emotions and how to express them is vital when talking and not blurting out words we will regret.
I am learning also not to respond to emails when I am in an emotional state and sleep on it before replying….it has saved many friendships.
Take care
Peggy xxxxxxx