Secrets and Lies

My mother once shared the following line that she overheard a man saying to his girlfriend, “I ain’t lyin’ I just ain’t got to the truth yet…baby.”  It brought a laugh from my mother when she heard and from me when she recounted  it.  I’m not sure if the girlfriend found it as humorous especially in the moment it was being delivered to her.

Secrets and lies – we all have them and we all tell them but they are not the same thing.  Both serve their purposes.  Secrets and deceit are not synonymous. 

Some questions to consider:

  • Can a deceit not be a lie?

  • Who’s right and who’s wrong in injurious conversations or long-term relationships?

  • Who’s responsible when communication breaks down?

  • Can you love someone even when they get on your nerves?

  • Can you love someone who frequently makes you angry, uncomfortable, and sad?

I may not be right but that doesn’t mean that I think I’m wrong.   

I may withdraw but that doesn’t mean I’m gone.

Can one person ever truly understand another?

Without spelling out definitions should we assume that we’re speaking the same language, carrying the same images, upholding the same values, or looking at our titles/designations/roles in the same way?

Words lie but does that mean that actions are true?


Me, too.


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What Helps Small Things Stay Small

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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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