Alone…so many women 8


Gorgeous 28 year-old, college-graduate (BS & MBA), African-American, communications & marketing professional.  In the market to purchase her first home.  Fun-loving.  Witty.  Willing to try new things.  Sees the world as her domain.  Will date guys from various racial backgrounds.


Alone.


Gorgeous petite, 46 year-old lawyer.  African-American.  Has traveled the world.  Serious golf player.   Fun-loving.


Alone.


Attractive voluptuous, 49 year old, Native-American, college-graduate.  An organizing whiz.  Irreverent. Independent.  Very giving.  Dry-wit.  Serious shopper and bargain-whisperer.  Occasionally snaps-crackles-pops.


Alone.


I have a lot of gorgeous female friends who are alone in this world. 


Classic beauty with a flawless complexion, 41 year old, Jamaican-American, college graduate.  Has aristocratic tastes with an eye for value and thrift.  Well-traveled.  Varied interests including politics and community activism. Cooks, gardens, fabulous decorator.  A soft-interior beneath a prickly exterior.


Alone.


Voluptuous beauty, 47 year-old.  African-American combination of Southern values and East Coast sophistication.  Has incredible joy and is so fun-loving – from hoola-hooping to singing to dancing to playing games to dressing up for Halloween. Currently finishing her master’s degree. 

Alone.


A 53 year-old beauty in the tradition of a Lena Horne with southern warmth, abiding faith and a mischievous wit.  Is a working (and sometimes non-working artist).


Alone.


My friends are dynamic, educated, and sophisiticated.  All are attractive – some world-class beauties.  Several are athletic.  All are hard-working, honest, and accomplished in their own ways.   They are either childless or have raised their children.


Each of them are alone – some have been alone for years.  Others date intermittently but have yet to find companionship.  Some want to be married.  Some do not. 


What they want seems so simple but has proven elusive – companionship…partnership with a good man….a date a couple of times a month.  These are not women who would eschew a guy who doesn’t have a “suit job” or a bachelor’s degree.  They are open and yet they remain alone.


56 year old woman who looks 40 is one of the most beautiful women to ever walk the earth and an accomplished artist and entrepreneur.


Alone.


53 year old widow who has travelled to every continent but one.  Deep dimples, fabulous energy, talented and credentialed interior designer. Out-going.


Alone.


32 year old voluptuous petite with a wild mane of hair that cascades down her shoulders. Creative writer and technology whiz, peaceful nature.  And freckles.


Alone.


A petite fashionista who is incredibly fit. Has been featured in a national magazine because of her beauty.  World traveler and appreciator of life.  Out-going. Fabulous cook – soul food and soulful food.  Makes things happen even without a mate.

Alone.


Where are the men?  Where are ya’ll?  Many of these women hail from Boston but others from the Midwest and the South.  Why should these fabulous women be so alone?


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

Leave a Reply to CandelariaCancel reply

8 thoughts on “Alone…so many women

  • Candelaria

    Them, too.    Your wife is a lucky woman.  Surely you have friends, colleagues or acquaintances who are single and want to mingle.

  • jim

    You know my story. All my brothers are married, too. And my friends are too. Not to disparage my own sex too much, but with only an occasional exception, single men in most of the age groups you mention are usually losers. Losers. Creeps. Fuckups. Children in men’s bodies. Oops, I guess I disparaged my sex a bit too much, but it’s true.

  • Candelaria

    Don’t sugarcoat it.  Tell me how your really feel.
    While there are  many men who are as you describe, there are other men who are wonderful, likeable and lonely.
    It is hard to get good people to meet and connect.  A lot of time it has to do with “packaging.”
    I think I’ll write a post on that at some point.
    Thanks for commenting.

  • Celeste

    Most of my life I’ve been alone. After a while I just gave up looking for love/companionship and got comfortable in my alone-ness. I go to the gym 4x per week and turned my health around; went back to school to get a Ph.D.; and started getting awards for my work recently. I’ve been abandoned by my family and friends. None of them attend my graduation, or awards ceremonies. I spend my days planning interesting trips, creating art and writing. I make the most of the life I’m given and if I never meet that “significant other” person I will have lived a good life. It’s the best and only life I have.

  • Tony D.

    Hi Candelaria,
    I read the article and wish I had an answer as to why. Of course I’ve been married for nearly 27 years! I know a woman in her 50’s, who is lovely, has dated some, but is alone. She has standards, as should everyone! But I think many guys are either intimidated by accomplished women, or continue to see themselves as being in their 20’s, chasing after some nonexistent young swimsuit model they don’t have a chance of getting with. I imagine the single men out there have their aloneness issues as well… I think you should talk to some of them to balance this post a bit. I have a feeling your women friends may not be quite as approachable to these men as they purport to be. I’m just glad I’m not single in this day and age. I am a friend of your hubby, by the way.

  • Candelaria

    It is wise to live life to the fullest with or without a companion/partner/spouse.  I am glad you are doing that.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • Candelaria

    Thanks for reading and leaving these comments.
    I know the women I profiled here well and trust me – most have been more accommodating than I think they should have been.  A couple unfortunately fell in love and started trying to build relationship with guys who are serial lovers – they run when it looks like its time to make a commitment and you find out later that this is their pattern done it to women before.  Oh the stories I can share but I won’t.
    A couple of these women have dated ex-cons, brothers with blue collar jobs (despite having white-collar jobs themselves), brothers working on their big break and just needing the woman’s support.  Even worse than this, is the women who simply never get asked out for dates at all – for years on end. 

    Anyhow… I wrote the piece I wanted to write.

    I am going to do another piece on “packaging” because I do know that sometimes men and women will miss someone because they are not packaged in a certain way.  Years ago there was a guy that I used to do some organizing work with.  He described what he wanted in a woman.  I had everything he wanted but I was too heavy for him.  He told me if I lost weight, he’d be interested.  Years later, I run into him, and he’s a physical wreck and hasn’t yet found that perfect woman he was looking for.  Oh…well…
    Thanks, again, for reading my blog.