Instant Messaging and Other Email Woes 5

My daughter bugged me to sign up for instant messaging so she could email me when I was on the computer.  My stepdaughter “seconded that emotion”*.  She told me that she and other friends and relatives IM’d throughout the day.  I thought they were all supposed to be working but what do I know?   They are young.  They can juggle.

I signed up.  She kept asking me if I could see her thumbnail photo by her IM.  I couldn’t.  She said that meant I need to accept her request to be my IM friend.  I finally did it right.  She tried to get me to put my photo up. “But you already know what I look like,” I complained.  Clearly I don’t get it – I don’t have photos on my phone or special rings on my cellphone for friends or family either.  I’m either answering the phone or not.

After they interrupted…I mean IM’d me a few more times, I sent them an IM asking why regular emails or phone calls weren’t enough.  They teased me to come into the 21st century.  When I complained I didn’t like the interruptions, I was told I could choose to ignore their IMs or put myself on invisible.  My step-daughter said I needed to learn to “multi task.”

Technology changes communication but not always for the better.  In my experiences – IM and even to some extent emails are great for short bursts of info but not for deep conversation.  Here are some of my computer communication pet peeves:

The Jokesters – I have relatives and friends who only send jokes and cartoons via email.  That’s it. Never a personal message.  Never a personal update.  Never an inquiry about how you might be doing.  Usually the cartoon they’re sending is buried deep in the email because it’s been forwarded several times.  AAARRRRGGGGHHH. Forward from the original source only.  If I have to click more than 2 forwards, guess what – your email is getting deleted.

The Conspiracy Theorists – A couple of friends only send the latest conspiracy or anything negative.  They love to spread horrible news.

The Have A Blessed Days – they send chain-letter quotes from the Bible that promise a blessing will come to you but only if you forward or try to guilt you into forwarding because “you forward other stuff – why not forward for God?”  Computers test my faith but only in them.  My belief in God is intimate, on-going, and doesn’t require email.

The Black Holes – they make a request, you comply, they never acknowledge receiving the information, the greeting, the whatever you sent. 

The Interrupters – IM interrupts.  I like to reply to or initiate communication in my own time.  (I know I can select to be invisible but doesn’t that sort of defeat the purpose of having IM?)

The Non-Users – “Oh, I don’t check email” or “I haven’t checked email in weeks.”  Then why do you have it?  And why do you complain that you haven’t gotten information from me or that you missed xyz?  If you checked your email you would have seen it – even if you only checked it once a week.

The Skimmers – Several folks don’t fully read the email – they read the subject and maybe the first line.  They often fail to realize that they’ve actually been asked a question that needs an answer or other follow-up action.  Please learn to read the whole email and at least acknowledge that you’ve seen the request even if you don’t have an answer yet.

The multitaskes – NOT!  You are doing two things – poorly.  You can multi task in real time as when you put clothes in the washer while sweeping a floor.  In computer time, you can’t.  If you’re clicking emails while talking to me – I can tell.  (I’ve been guilty of this myself and am trying to reform.)  Now – when I’m talking while on the computer, I mostly play Spider Solitaire so that I can do something with my restless hands while attuning to the conversation.

FOCUS PEOPLE!  When you’re writing an email – write it, spell check it, and if you’re angry leave it as a draft for a while before you reread it, edit it and then send it.  Same thing for phones.  How annoying is it when someone calls on a cellphone and clicks back and forth between the cellphone and the land line?  How about focusing on the call you made? That’s why we have voice mail.  (And speaking of voice mail – have you noticed that since the advent of voice mail you are sometimes startled to call and actually get a live person?  I sometimes stumble and bumble because I wasn’t prepared to and didn’t necessarily want to  talk to a live person in real time.)

Back in my single days, I actually was heavily into IM because it allowed me to talk trash with interesting guys from all over the country.  It quickly got old and so I discontinued the practice.

Don’t know yet if I’m going to open up myself daily to this IM thing.  Perhaps I’ll set aside one day a week for the interruptions…uh…IMs. That’s the least I can do.


*lyric from a Smokey Robinson and The Miracles song.