Things jump out at me sometimes. A friend or former colleague comes across my mind and within a couple of days I run into them or hear from them. (I’m talking about people I haven’t seen in years!) Or, I notice something that’s always around me and activity happens to the thing I’ve noticed. This has happened all of my life. When I was younger, it made me uncomfortable and so I refused the gift. Recently, these small hunches have been returning, frequently enough that I’ve noticed.
A few examples (when I paid attention)
A. It comes to me to take my spare glasses with me on my trip home for the holidays. I haven’t worn or carried these glasses in a little over a year. Sure enough, third day of my trip, the right handle on my glasses break and cannot be easily fixed (a new handle has to be ordered all together). Thanks to my hunch, I had the spare with me.
B. Rifling through my storage cabinet in search of Christmas wrapping paper, I notice the set of china that I haven’t used in the last several years. It almost like they flashed at me. Getting rid of the dishes would free-up some storage space in the cabinet. Perhaps I’ll have a yard sale in the summer. No, I think, I’ll check freecycle.org. I get daily updates from the freecycle site but haven’t checked it in months because the last time I listed something, the person who was supposed to come by and pick it up never did.
As I scroll through the site, out jumps a “wanted ad.” A woman in Jamaica Plain wants a dinner set for eight. I reply that I have a complete service for six if she wants it. She answers me and within three hours of honing in on the dishes in my storage cabinet, she has come and picked up the dishes. The china set goes to a good home and I get needed storage space.
C. I pray for a paying gig to come my way. Something tells me to look on Craigs’ List – and there it is, a gig that starts on Nov. 24, the day after the gig I’ve had since the end of June ends. “That’s my job,” I think as I write my cover letter. Within a week, references have been checked and indeed, I have the gig that gets me to the middle of January.
Sometimes, I get the small sign, but don’t pay attention:
A. I’m on the Silver Line on my way to the airport and I zero in on my black carry on bag. It comes to me that I should put it over the handle of my suitcase but I ignore this thought. Standing in line to check my suitcase (damn the $15 fee American Airlines charges), I realize I don’t have the black carry-on, having left it on the Silver Line. (This ends okay – my bag gets returned to South Station, the MBTA gives it to another Silver Line driver and I get it and make it to the gate in time because the flight is delayed because of bad weather. I am nervous for a minute when I listen to the de-icing process going on but it comes to me that the plane will get to St. Louis safely.)
B. I noticed a former colleague’s name in an old address book and think, I need to invite him to dinner, like I said I would when we’d run into each other some months ago. I don’t and, unfortunately, the cancer he’d beat back returns and takes him away from this earthly realm. (This does prompt me to begin inviting a variety of friends and acquaintances over for breakfast or lunch – mostly one-on-one. It doesn’t make up for this missed opportunity but it does mean that I am able to demonstrate through a meal lovingly fixed, my gratitude for various people who’ve helped me along the way. I am not thinking of these meals as a long good-bye but more as a series of hellos.)
The hunch that hasn’t come
I’ve been waiting for a sign of a winning number. My prayer to God has been that I come into enough money to take care of a small, burdensome bit of debt. In my prayer, I ask that the money not come as a result of a negative event, rather I’d like to hit the lottery or win one of the contests I enter regularly. Other people have had such fortune – why not me? (Anything that puts $20K …or more in my hand would be welcome.)
In terms of premonition, I have learned to pay attention to feelings of foreboding and not do what I was planning to do or go where I was planning to go. I have prayed and said a silent goodbye when I know that the person I’m visiting isn’t going to make it through surgery or treatment. (These are the premonitions I don’t like to have. They hurt. On the other hand, it feels great to do a silent celebration when I get the overwhelming feeling that the surgery or treatment will be successful.)
Happy New Year!
I have to say that almost every “negative” thing in my life has come after I did not listen to “the sign.” I always knew, like losing your bag, but I ignored. And yet, I still ignore far too often – you’d think we’d learn, eh? I also think the signs, the voices, sometimes I call it “them” are more clear when I stop demanding that they speak.