Me thinks mean things 4

I have a confession to make.  Sometimes I think mean things.  Venemous things.  In rhyme.  Like:


You made me cry,

So you now you have to die.


You didn’t call,

So now you’re gonna fall.


You didn’t stay,

And  now you’re gonna pay.


You brought me low

And now you’ve got to go.


You made a slip

So now I’m ‘bout to flip.


You told a lie

And now you’re gonna fry.


These mean, often rhythmic thoughts started in childhood, when my friends and I often said this retort:

“Forget you, forgot you, (I) never thought about you.”

And the always punchy:

“Up your nose with a rubber hose.”  (And I would think, “Up your ass with a piece of glass,” but I couldn’t say that because someone would certainly tell my mama who wouldn’t have been none-too-pleased.)


I don’t know why I these kinds of thoughts pop in my mind but they always have.  Not that I’d ever do any of them. 


“I wouldn’ follow him across the street” (I thought when I listened to the self-appointed, media-anointed, so-called leader of “the community.”)  I actually said that one aloud.


“Poof.  You don’t exist anymore…at least not to me.” ( I imagine a burial ceremony and offending party becomes as good as dead to me.)  I know it’s not nice but it’s what I’ve done in a few extreme circumstances.


Shhhhh. Be quiet. I make myself  surrender to silence so I won’t say the mean things that pop up immediately, many of which are too vicious to put in this blog post.  (I’ll save them for my fiction.)  I can ignore someone for days, biting my tongue, locking my not nice retorts or communication of any kind up.


Do other people have mean thoughts like this?  I’m not talking about the crazies who actually go off their rockers and do nasty, vile things. I’m talking about the regular folks like I think I am.  Does my husband ever think, “Off with her head” when I’ve done something to offend him?


Recent angry rhyme that came into my head:

Who got stuck behind the garbage truck?

Candelaria did.

Which made her so late she said:

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!



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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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4 thoughts on “Me thinks mean things

  • David Mynott

    I have a confession to make as well: i do the same thing! And have since about the age of 14 (oh Lord, those adolescent hormones). And i’m not always so poetic about it, as you. Transmuting anger thru poetry. Hmmmm—consider the possibilities. I think you’ve hit upon something there, Candelaria!

  • Lilly

    You know you could write a book of these rhymes don’t you? I love them and they made me smile. These thoughts pop into your head because you are so clever with words and language and are so expressive. Sure, I think mean things but I could not make anything rhyme to save myself. Up your nose with a rubber hose – oh one of my sisters used to say this to me all the time as children. I for one cannot wait for your fiction – because personally it would be great to borrow some of your best thoughts when I am in need of a few choice lines myself. At least you give some measured thought to your retort (even silently given) whereas I just blurt it out.