My Bad, Your Bad


Was it really that bad?  They question you.  You question yourself.

If you survived it, could it have really been that bad after all?  After all:  it is all over, you’re here.  Still.  You’re walking upright.  You’re functioning.  Coping.  You must be okay.  Right?

I can’t compare my bad to your bad.   Your bad doesn’t compare to mine.

In a face-off of bad things that happen, whose bad thing(s) would win.?  It’s not a contest though.  Into each life some rain must fall, some bad must happen.  (Although, undeniably, some people get more than their share.  And sometimes, one bad thing breaking through seems to bring bad-ass/bad-news companions along.)

You keep busy.  You show up.  You joke.  Your tears are privately shed if at all.  You rarely vocalize your pain. 

I can’t look at your outside and see the internal turmoil, doubts, fears and/or pain you tamp down.

You do sometimes roll your eyes when you hear of the minor irritations some people think of as bad because you have survived so much worse but wait there I go comparing and that’s not appropriate, is it?

After looking at your bad, I think, I’ll keep my own, thank you very much.  (I don’t want anybody else’s good either…I want my own. 

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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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