Seeing is Believing 3

As a mother whose children live over yonder, there comes a time when phone conversations and emails won’t do, no matter how frequent.   I need face-to-face time with those two children of mine.  When I see their faces, I will know what’s really going on – not what they tell me – which is often what they think I want to hear.

The web cam helps, but only my daughter and I use them and we do so infrequently.  I need to see my children in their homes and habitats. I want to accompany them on their neighborhood runs.  See where they work.  Meet the people who inhabit their corner of the world.

I need, also, to be silent with them – watching one of our favorite movies, going on a bargain hunt, or taking a long walk.  I need their hugs, teasing, and reminiscences. I want to cook some of their favorite dishes and listen as they sing my praises. It was a pleasure to have them together during the holidays.  The times we are all together are infrequent and sometimes marred by recurring tensions that surface between them.

Being a mother is the greatest job I’ve ever had and it is the crowning achievement of my life.  They have lifted me sky high with pride and knocked me low to the ground  with worry.  Still I would choose to have them all over again even if I couldn’t go back wiser with the knowledge I’ve gained in hindsight. 

I love them so deeply. I carry them daily in my heart, mind and soul.  
I need…
I hope…
I plan to lay my eyes on and wrap my arms around them real soon.
(Kees, kees, kees)


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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3 thoughts on “Seeing is Believing

  • LeeAnn

    This post has left me smiling silently…the need to physically be in the same space with my children is often overwhelming. Somehow it feels very affirming to know that I am in a circle of mothers, though I cannot see them and do not really know them, who carry the same strong, everpresent need. And somehow, that need, I think, is part of what makes the world better.

  • Dawn

    I am a mother of one and I am 27 yrs old. I wish to savor the moments that my little girl gives me now. Sometimes I feel like I take them for granted and I know I shouldn’t so I try to live in the moment and don’t let the precious times pass me by. This post is very inspiring to me and I will visit more often.

  • Candelaria

    Parenting is filled with so many demands that it is hard not to miss the moments as they go by.  Awareness is the first step.  Take lots of photos, keep a journal where you write about some of the precious moments, hug and squeeze and love your daughter up.
    Thanks for visiting my website.  You may want to look through the archives, I have several articles that relate to parenting.