Should I, Can I Delete Their Names? 4


I have found myself facing, unfortunately with more frequency, the dilemma of when to delete the names of people who have passed from my contacts.


When I was in my thirties and forties, there were virtually no names to delete and the few people who passed were people much older than me.


This has changed dramatically since I turned 50. Deaths among my contemporaries and near-contemporaries – friends, family and former colleagues – have become more frequent. As I scroll through my phone book, outlook contacts and business card binder, I run across their names:

NOTE: The rest of this post is in my latest post on BlogHer.com.  Press here for the link.


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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4 thoughts on “Should I, Can I Delete Their Names?

  • Jim

    My mother died a year and a half ago. My sister died in 2002. My father died in 2001. They are all still in my phone and in my contacts. I never dial them or look for their address, but sometimes I talk to them anyway. I’m not going to delete them.

  • Anali

    This is an ongoing issue for me. I actually hate junk and clutter, so I tend to get rid of things. But my messy address book which needs to be replaced, I cannot seem to part with. Both my grandmother and uncle’s names are in there and I cannot delete them. If I replace the address book, then I have to not write their names in the new one. Somehow I still can’t do it. And it’s been many years. Whenever I think about it, I just put the address book away. I guess when I’m ready, I’ll know it.