There must be 50 ways to love your lover 6

There must be 50 ways to love your lover.*

Here’s a list of suggestions I’ve come up with to love your lover.  These are not big, rock ‘em-sock ‘em expensive ways, rather, they are glimmers and gestures that require a little time, a smidge of effort, and focused attention.  They definitely  show that you care.  Time = love.

  1. A home-cooked meal – prepared and presented to your loved one (even a sandwich counts).

  2. A night out dancing.

  3. A night in dancing.

  4. A walk – in the neighborhood (running errands or just meandering).

  5. A walk in the park or a mall or a cemetery (if that’s more your style…I suppose even a walk on adjacent treadmills could count).

  6. A shampoo and scalp massage.

  7. Brushing of your lover’s hair.

  8. A rub/massage on any body part, aching or not.  (Doesn’t skin-on-skin feel so lovely?)

  9. A hidden love note/sugar gram (to be discovered in any number of places, like a wallet, in a pile of bills, tucked in a pair of socks, slipped in a cell phone case, etc.)

  10. Watching a movie together (on cable, from your collection, borrowed from the library, or at an actual theater).

  11. Reading (aloud) a poem, passage from a book, interesting article from a newspaper, etc.  (This could be time for your inner-actor to be shown.)

  12. Singing a favorite song to your lover.

  13. Writing a song for your lover.

  14. Sharing a childhood or other story never before shared.

  15. Enveloping your lover with a big, full-body hug.

  16. Holding hands (while walking or watching television or…).

  17. Having a photo taken of you as a couple (bonus points if you send copies to friends).

  18. Giving your lover a bath.

  19. Ironing a blouse or shirt or pants or skirt or handkerchief or t-shirt for your lover (just because).

  20. Doing a chore that you don’t normally do without being asked.

  21. Unexpected flowers (not given on a holiday or birthday).

  22. Take a day trip.

  23. Accompanying your lover on a  shopping trip with no complaints (even if it’s only window shopping or shopping at a thrift or discount store).

  24. Writing an “I-love” you letter.

  25. Sending a card or post card of love each month.

  26. Playing a game (board, cards, wiki…).

  27. Print out the photos that have been languishing on your computer or the digital camera and framing them.

  28. Organizing photos into an album.

  29. Looking at photos and reminiscing about the events they chronicle..

  30. Dining outside on your deck or porch.

  31. Packing a picnic lunch and having a picnic somewhere.

  32. Dining by candlelight (bonus points for using the good plates and cloth napkins).

  33. Going to a concert (there are may opportunities to go to free concerts in most cities).

  34. Going to a mall or train station (like South Station) and watching people.

  35. Setting the timer for 5 minutes and kiss your lover for the full five.

  36. Listening to your lover talk with undivided attention.

  37. Whispering sweet nothings or soothing somethings in your lover’s ear.

  38. Giving a manicure or pedicure (or both).

  39. Watching a movie or game that you don’t like but your lover does without complaint (occasionally).

  40. Giving a compliment.

  41. Saying thank you for the things that your lover does that have become so routine that you’ve stopped noticing them.

  42. Preparing a meal together with your lover.

  43. Taking a mental health day together – mid-week and staying in your pjs, eating in bed, and lollygagging together.

  44. Doing something from your “honey do” file (you know you have requests that have languished).

  45. Dress up in your finery for your lover.

  46. Let your lover sleep in.

  47. Serve your lover breakfast-in-bed (or lunch or dinner).

  48. Feed your lover – literally – locking eyes.  (This can make you giggly when you’re receiving but what fun and how intense!)

  49. Get physical – go swimming, bowling, skating, jogging, etcetera. 

  50.  Make love…frequently.

*With thanks to Paul Simon for the original lyrics and song, – “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”



About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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