There must be 50 ways to love your lover.*
Here’s a list of suggestions I’ve come up with to love your lover. These are not big, rock ‘em-sock ‘em expensive ways, rather, they are glimmers and gestures that require a little time, a smidge of effort, and focused attention. They definitely show that you care. Time = love.
- A home-cooked meal – prepared and presented to your loved one (even a sandwich counts).
- A night out dancing.
- A night in dancing.
- A walk – in the neighborhood (running errands or just meandering).
- A walk in the park or a mall or a cemetery (if that’s more your style…I suppose even a walk on adjacent treadmills could count).
- A shampoo and scalp massage.
- Brushing of your lover’s hair.
- A rub/massage on any body part, aching or not. (Doesn’t skin-on-skin feel so lovely?)
- A hidden love note/sugar gram (to be discovered in any number of places, like a wallet, in a pile of bills, tucked in a pair of socks, slipped in a cell phone case, etc.)
- Watching a movie together (on cable, from your collection, borrowed from the library, or at an actual theater).
- Reading (aloud) a poem, passage from a book, interesting article from a newspaper, etc. (This could be time for your inner-actor to be shown.)
- Singing a favorite song to your lover.
- Writing a song for your lover.
- Sharing a childhood or other story never before shared.
- Enveloping your lover with a big, full-body hug.
- Holding hands (while walking or watching television or…).
- Having a photo taken of you as a couple (bonus points if you send copies to friends).
- Giving your lover a bath.
- Ironing a blouse or shirt or pants or skirt or handkerchief or t-shirt for your lover (just because).
- Doing a chore that you don’t normally do without being asked.
- Unexpected flowers (not given on a holiday or birthday).
- Take a day trip.
- Accompanying your lover on a shopping trip with no complaints (even if it’s only window shopping or shopping at a thrift or discount store).
- Writing an “I-love” you letter.
- Sending a card or post card of love each month.
- Playing a game (board, cards, wiki…).
- Print out the photos that have been languishing on your computer or the digital camera and framing them.
- Organizing photos into an album.
- Looking at photos and reminiscing about the events they chronicle..
- Dining outside on your deck or porch.
- Packing a picnic lunch and having a picnic somewhere.
- Dining by candlelight (bonus points for using the good plates and cloth napkins).
- Going to a concert (there are may opportunities to go to free concerts in most cities).
- Going to a mall or train station (like South Station) and watching people.
- Setting the timer for 5 minutes and kiss your lover for the full five.
- Listening to your lover talk with undivided attention.
- Whispering sweet nothings or soothing somethings in your lover’s ear.
- Giving a manicure or pedicure (or both).
- Watching a movie or game that you don’t like but your lover does without complaint (occasionally).
- Giving a compliment.
- Saying thank you for the things that your lover does that have become so routine that you’ve stopped noticing them.
- Preparing a meal together with your lover.
- Taking a mental health day together – mid-week and staying in your pjs, eating in bed, and lollygagging together.
- Doing something from your “honey do” file (you know you have requests that have languished).
- Dress up in your finery for your lover.
- Let your lover sleep in.
- Serve your lover breakfast-in-bed (or lunch or dinner).
- Feed your lover – literally – locking eyes. (This can make you giggly when you’re receiving but what fun and how intense!)
- Get physical – go swimming, bowling, skating, jogging, etcetera.
- Make love…frequently.
*With thanks to Paul Simon for the original lyrics and song, – “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”
