Asking No Questions, So You’ll Tell Me No Lies 2

I’m asking no questions so you’ll tell me no lies, half-truths or sanitized versions of what’s going on.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t care.  I do care.  I care deeply. 

I’ve learned, however, that you will come to me with your story when you’re ready and not a minute before.

I’ve learned that despite the fact that you leave cryptic phone and text messages that provide a trail of clues that disappear as thoroughly as the crumbs left by Hansel and Gretel, I won’t find out the whole story until you’re ready.

I’ve learned that if I dare ask a question, even an innocent one like “How Are You?” –  you will feel barraged, probed, and certainly inconvenienced thereby giving you permission to act like I’m a Grand Inquisitor.

I’m learning not to second guess, attempt to fill in the blanks, or jump into action.  To do so will mean that I am wrong, you are annoyed, and I will have jumped the gun, yet again. 

Remember the story of the boy who cried wolf?

So, I swallow.  I release.  I burrow myself even deeper into my life’s demands all the while praying that you are okay and land on yoru feet like you have been every other time you’ve sounded the alarm.

About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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2 thoughts on “Asking No Questions, So You’ll Tell Me No Lies

  • Lilly

    Oh yes am constantly walking that fine line and it is so hard. Butthat is what builds resilience, for both parties. They know you are a shelter in a storm and that is what counts. Love your writing, always thought provoking and spot on for where I am at in my own life.