Believing My Husband 42

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I’ve decided to start believing my husband when he answers my questions at warp (sp?) speed.  I will believe that he has heard the question in its entirety.  I will trust that he has carefully thought about his answer before he utters it.  I will know that the answer given is his final answer.

Even though his answers often come with such a quickness that I find it hard to believe that they have received any analysis, I will not repeat the question.  I do not want to hear him say, “I said yes, didn’t I?”  again. 

Perhaps it is because he was a member of the track team (and still moves fast). Perhaps it is because he was on the debate team in high school.  Or maybe it’s just that he’s a fairly smart guy – Latin School and Ivy league college grad and all that implies.   Whatever the reason – his brain and the training it has recieved during his life allow him to digest questions from his wife virtually the same time that they are posed.

If I truly believed, I wouldn’t seek dialogue and discussion.  I could take the answer and run with it.  I could tuck the yesses in a basket and pull them out when I need them.  I wouldn’t be annoyed that a question or idea or date made in the recent past would be forgotten and that I’d have to remind him, “But you said, yes…okay…got it…didn’t you?”

It’s hard out here for a wife
whose husband – the love of her life –
gives yesses she doesn’t believe
have been thoughtfully conceived.

I’mon learn.

About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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