This rant was inspired by a routine, “Hey, Little Girl on the Cellphone,” by comic, William Stephenson. )I couldn’t find his routine on line, unfortunately.) My son, works at the Gotham Comedy Club in NYC, and recounted Mr. Stephenson’s routine at Thanksgiving. I can’t find his routine on line but it starts, “Hey, little girl on the cellphone, everything is not awesome.”
Here’s my take on the relentless texter at last night’s concert.
Hey young chick on the texter
Be glad that my name is not Dexter *
I said, hey, young chick on the texter
Be glad that my name is not Dexter.
You were at a live concert
What could there be to say?
For 1 ½ hours you texted away.
I told you nicely the light was flashing my eyes
I asked you to stop but you wouldn’t oblige.
Hey chickee-poo on the texter
Be grateful that my name is not Dexter.
If I were younger, we would have had a few words
I would have snatched away that cell phone.
It would have gotten absurd.
Being much too classy; I let you ruin my night
But if I see you alone be expecting a fright.
I’ll be up in your face and lay down the law
Live concerts are for listening and not to thumb-caw.
The click-click of texting is annoying as hell
And cell phone lights are not part of the spell.
You should have been ejected but I went with the flow
And suffered in silence trying to enjoy the show.
i can only get revenge on this lovely blog
Seat 109 last night contained a definite hog.
In all fairness, she wasn’t the only one texting or using the devices that the announcer at the beginning of the show asked us to turn off. There were several people videotaping and taking photos from the audience – and they were not the hired guns!
I didn’t enjoy Berlee’s Singer’s Showcase as much as the last one I attended which I blogged about positively. Once I can separate my annoyance about Ms. Texter with my disappointment with the concert, my review will be posted.
(*For the record, I’ve only watched Dexter once, it was a bit too gruesome for my taste.)