I don’t care…let me explain

I don’t care cause care don’t get you nowhere is a retort my friends and I used to fling around in my girlhood days as we played on the stoop or on the sidewalk in between jumping double-dutch, playing jacks, or Chinese jump rope.

We also said, “forget you, forgot you, never thought about you.” We never said these things in a mean way, we were just being flippant and wise with each others. My days were filled with friends, neighbors and cousins by the dozen.

Saying “I don’t care” is rooted in me and so, I’ve been known to sprinkle this now and again in an argument a conversation.  These words have hurt the feelings of people closest to me. They sound so cold and distant. The phrase has mostly been misinterpreted and, if I’m thoughtful, I can understand why. I don’t always want to be thoughtful, however.

When I use it, I don’t mean “I don’t care about you.” What I mean is:

  • I don’t care about this situation or
  • Either choice would be fine with me or
  • I don’t care about what you decide to do or
  • Do what you want to do (it’s your thing after all) or
  • This…(whatever) is not important to me or
  • I give a rat’s ass.
    (Okay, that last example was mean.)

♫“Throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care.” (Atliens lyrics Sung by Outkast (Andre)

I’m waving ‘cause I don’t care….except when I do.


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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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