I Know a No in Disguise







“A no in disguise.”*



  • I’ll get back to you on that.

  • I don’t have my calendar with me.  Let me check it give you a date.

  •  have to check with so and so about such and such…

In other words:



  • you don’t want to meet with me,

  • you don’t plan to follow-up on the project and

  • you are full-of-manure, fake, phony… 

You might be on of those people always talking about what you’re “fittin’” to do, who just want to go on record as being interested and helpful even though you don’t plan to follow through and do anything.  (You know who you are.)

It’s a no in disguise (except when I say those things, of course).

There are also lies in disguise, as when so many people say to someone who knows me, that they’ve been trying to reach me.

“I’ve been trying so hard to reach you…”  (Uh, no you haven’t.  If you googled me you can find me plus my phone and email haven’t changed in six years.)

“You’re so tough to get a hold of.”  (Uh, leave a message on the answering machine. I’m not tough to get a hold of.  I return phone calls and email messages.  So you must be lying.)

Anyhow…



(*Thanks to my husband for this phrase. It hits the nail on the head.)


 


 


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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