Is You Is or Is You Ain’t? 1


Is You Is or Is You Ain’t?  This is the question.  I’m thinking a lot about the importance of self-knowledge, i.e.,  knowing who you are, what you want, what fits and what doesn’t.


I keep hearing that song in my head, “Is you is or is you ain’t my baby, if you ain’t then don’t confess it now” except that I’m really only thinking about the first seven words and how they pertain to me.


Who am I now?  Who am I without the title, without the invites, without the staff?


Can I follow after having been so used to leading?  Can I swallow my pride, corral my ego, and control my need to share what I know and think to be the support player on the team?*  Circumstances dictate that I do.  Doesn’t mean I have to like it.  Doesn’t mean I’ll embrace it permanently.  A woman has to do what a woman has to do.


Is I is or is I ain’t?  I’m figuring it out one day at a time.



*It is vastly different when you do the grunt work because, as director of the project/event/organization, you care deeply about every detail versus having to do the grunt work because…well…it’s  your responsibility.


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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One thought on “Is You Is or Is You Ain’t?

  • jim

    I have the great pleasure of being seven of nine, the oldest of the third group of three, a brother to brothers, a brother to sisters, neither first nor last, not too much minded or ignored, a man who likes to talk and to listen, good at some things, not bad at anything except music, the notes, the tones, the theory. I think I’ll try to learn a new language. I was never great at French. I think I’ll try Italian. Spanish would be much more practical, but the sound of Italian makes me feel as though knowing it, I could sing.