Thank you on Mother’s Day – a message to my children 5

On Mother’s Day I must say thank you:

  • Thank you to my daughter, my first born, who made me a mother and a mother of a daughter.

  • Thank you to my son, my second and last born, who made me the mother of a son.

  • Thank you to my mom who loved me and demonstrated that love through the care she took of me as I was growing up and continues to demonstrate with the advice, concern, gifts and treats she continues to send my way.

The legacy of love and responsibility that my mother gave to me came from her mother, who was called Mother with a capital M by my family members.  Until she passed, Mother’s house was a place where the family gathered every Wednesday to share a meal, swap stories and gossip, celebrate birthdays and milestones, and love each other up.

Now the motherhood torch has passed to my daughter who is doing an incredible job of mothering my granddaughter, a step-son and a teenager she recently adopted.  It is always one’s hope that you’ve passed on to your children good things – values, habits, love and well-being.  Amber has taken those and gone further with them.  She is an outstanding Mom, more mature and organized than I was when I embarked on the motherhood journey.  I am so proud of her.

My message to my children on this Mother’s Day is that I love you.  When I pass – and I hope I am writing these words years before you’ll have to follow my advice – please don’t mourn me by tending a graveside, crying and feeling sad.  Honor me by:

  • Remembering how I liked to dance and dancing in my honor. You can dance alone or get dressed up and go out to a nightclub like I loved to do.  Just dance!

  • Remembering how I liked to walk and taking a long walk in my honor.  It doesn’t matter whether you walk on a beach, in a park or through a crowded city neighborhood.  I loved walking in all those settings.  Your mind will be eased as you walk, I promise you.

  • Remembering how I liked to cook (and eat) and enjoy a meal in my honor.  If you make the meal yourself, always use cloth napkins because that was one of the things I always liked to do.  If it’s at a restaurant, savor the meal and the setting. Leave a generous tip.

  • Remembering my love of reading and curl up with a printed (not electronic!) book and be spirited away into a fictional place or thrust into a historic account or informed about the world around you or moved by poetry.

  • Remembering my love of music and listening to any type of gorgeous music you can especially live music.

In other words, celebrate me by celebrating life – live your lives as fully as you can.  Do not waste time mourning.

I love you, Amber and Cy.  Thank you again for making me a mom, your mom.  There’s been no greater honor in this world!

About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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5 thoughts on “Thank you on Mother’s Day – a message to my children

  • Faina Smith

    I love your passion, Candelaria. You have so much to give — love, wisdom and comfort. And you are doing it NOW, when it really matters.

    Today I feel unexpectedly sad because I miss my mother who died almost 20 years ago. If I could turn the clock back, I would do so much more for her when it was still possible.

  • Candelaria

    Thank you for reading my blog on a special day for you – one of the most loving mother’s I know.
    I am sorry that you are missing your mother so on this day.  Perhaps your sadness will ease and you will be able to remember all the good times you and she shared.  I know she was proud of you.

  • Lilly

    Amazing post. Just amazing. My eyes filled up. Something tells me your children will fulfil your wishes because of the Mother you are. There is nothing better than to see our children happy, loved and fulfilled. Your daughter sounds wonderful, that is some torch you passed on.