I can be replaced 3

I would like sometimes to think it is otherwise, to think that I matter more than I do, but I have realized time and again that I am but a speck in the vastness of the universe.  Life keeps rushing along with its business no matter what I’m thinking about or doing. Although it may seem like the world has stopped at various times to me, the world in fact keeps on moving. It is people who give meaning to each other.  It is our relationships and our interactions; our participation and our stillness; our laughter and our tears that assign meaning to our lives.

While we can’t be replicated,* we can be replaced.  The job you leave will be filled.  The tears shed for you will eventually dry.  The hole in your heart will mend.  The baby will fuss or laugh at the funeral no matter how solemn – pulling its mother, father, grandmother, and other witnesses back to the concerns of the living.  “Ah, yes,” we think, “The baby.”  The baby must be tended to.

Have you had a time in your life when you thought you could not recover from a love affair that ended? 
Have you faced a disappointment so painful that you thought you would go mad? 

Most of the time, most of us are able to weather the storm.  Often times we become stronger, more resilient from having to repair the damages of experience.

Welcome to life.  This is how it is.  Many people, so much more eloquent than me have written about it – “into each life some rain must fall.”  So get an umbrella and grab some galoshes.  Be prepared for the inevitable downturns but don’t embrace them when they come and don’t encourage them to come sooner than their due.

The world, this life may not give two cents about me but I care about me. I’m glad I “got born.” I hope that it will be remembered some where that I was here, that I lived, that I did right by somebody, that I did the best that I could more times than not.   

Say, amen, somebody.

*At least not quite yet (shudder).

About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

3 thoughts on “I can be replaced

  • Laura

    After a time of being anxious about being just a speck, I have come to embrace it. It means that I can make mistakes, I can change, I can grow and I will not be held accountable to anyone else. I am not my brother’s keeper, only my own. Not that I don’t strive to be the best person I can be, but this speckness gives me a separateness that enables me to focus on what I can do, and not on what others could be doing. It focuses me in a way that being continually conscious of interdependence and interconnectedness does not.

    From one speck to another, I say give yourself a break, the world does not rest on your shoulders.

    Laura, talking about being a speck and other moteness at (http://www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com).

  • LeeAnn

    Yup…when it hurts REALLY BAD, I often think, “It will be tomorrow soon, then tomorrow again.” Somehow I find that comforting that no matter what, things move forward and there is distance, healing, heck, just something “else” but always forward, no hurt lingers forever.

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