Irritation, Annoyance, or Problem? 6

I feel proud that at this point in my life, that I know the difference between an irritation, an annoyance, and a problem.  There are lots of things that irritate and annoy me.  In the grand scheme of things, they are not major.  Most of them I can get pass, ignore, or avoid.

My coleus is a beauty not an irritation

People that I find annoying and irritating, I limit my contact with.  When I’m being my best Candelaria, I try to figure out if the issue is them or me?  Am I just impatient?  (It seems as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less patient.)  Am I in a bad mood?  Am I envious in some way?  Can I get out of their way?  Might they feel the same about me.

Is it tedium?  Some things and some processes are tedious.  I try to handle these situations by plunging in and doing the tedious thing quickly and completely so I can be done with it.  Sometimes, I practice meditative breathing as I do the tedious thing.

Problems are different.  Problems often show up unexpectedly and in full-force.  Many times, they are outside of one’s control.  Many times, they require collaboration and counsel from others to tackle.  Sometimes they feel insurmountable.  “If you’re going through hell, keep going,” is a quote I’ve heard attributed to Sir Winston Churchill.  Truer words were never spoken.

This is a problem.  What chu’ gonna do, Candelaria?  Keep tackling the problems.  I’ve learned not to ignore problems that need addressing or to only delay handling for a day or two as I build my strength and figure my strategy.

Aging is an irritation, it is often annoying, and its problems multiply. Right now, thankfully, blessedly, irritations and annoyance are in the small circumference of my immediate concern.  Problems are being held at bay and avoided.  Knowing the difference keeps me from bogging down in stress, regret, and second guessing.

As my grandmother, whom we called Mother, advised her family, “Be thankful for what it ain’t.”  I am Mother, I am. (RIP and RIG).


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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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