Is that Me?


Is that me? Am I that impatient, pushy and stubborn?

Yes. Yes. And No.

Yes, I am impatient especially when I perceive there is a time limit (i.e., if everyone’s question is answered and this presenter or facilitator or tour guide doesn’t get going, we’ll run out of time before we complete this important thing to me we are doing.  (I mean really, why do some people ask a dozen questions instead of listening and letting the presenter finish.  Questions and interruptions become contagious and can get out-of-control.)

Green reflection

Green reflection

Yes, pushy, although I would say what I am is actually assertive…I will speak up… although usually only after I’ve sat on my thoughts and impatience for a while.

No, I am not stubborn.  To be stubborn is to refuse to move from a behavior, position or situation.  I do change my mind quite regularly. I also just let go even if I had passion for my original desire or thought.

Have you ever seen someone else’s unpleasant behavior and wondered, do I act like that?  And shudder at the thought?

Recently, at the home of a dear couple, I saw another couple with a very assertive wife.  She spoke over her husband, corrected and interrupted him frequently. They were a cute couple. It was mostly in good fun but she bordered on being shrill.   (I could tell she could go there – firecracker personality that she had.) I wondered to myself, am I like that to my husband?

The three husbands in the room laughed at a couple of her verbal outbursts and one said something like, “women/wives do that.”  We three women/wires chuckled, too, because we recognized ourselves.

But, really, I’m not that bad.

I have to admit that I am impatient and recently have exhibited an accumulation of intolerant, edgy behaviors in public and private situations.  I’m gonna try to do better.  This is why I often doodle, keep quiet, do internal meditations, and go out of my way to avoid crowds because I know how I am.

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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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