It’s not all sugar and spice 6

I am mostly trying to be my best self these days, to think and walk on the more positive side of life, to armor up against the negative things that try to penetrate my psyche.  Sometimes it is difficult.

I am now going to embark on a brief vent.

I’ve recently felt slimed by a few people.  Luckily, none of them were ace-boon-coons (is that a throw-back word or what?).  The chatty-cathy party of my personality wants to get them told.  I want to say, “Don’t think that I don’t recognize you for the snake you are.”  But, I’ve lived long enough to know that it is not wise to let people who mean you ill know that you are aware of who they really are.  What’s most important is to  have the awareness of who you are really dealing with.  My feelings get terribly hurt when I find out that someone I thought was a friend was really a foe and I didn’t realize it at all.

Two people who were long-term acquaintances recently revealed that they didn’t care for me at all.  One revealed it in a look that he didn’t realize I saw and caught.  It was a look that shook me down to my toes.  This guy really doesn’t like me, I thought.  My second thought was, “I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with him on a regular basis any more.”  My third and fourth thoughts were, “no wonder I haven’t been getting info from his organization” and “he can be eliminated from my Outlook, no holiday card for him, and, now I understand some things that happened previously in our interactions.”  Goody-goody.  I like knowing where I really stand with a person even if it hurts my feelings.

The other tried to get me to do something a bit unethical in the name of trying to help me.  Her help was unsolicited and a surprise.  I want to shout to her, “You ain’t slick.  You don’t want to help me.  You either don’t know me and thought I would go for it or, like so many people, you just want to appear to be helping instead of really helping.”  I believe she made me an offer she knew I would refuse hoping that the offer would be recorded as a favor from her.  Nuh-uh.  Or she was trying to set me up.  Whatever she thought, I saw who she really was and that’s the most important thing.

Okay, I’ve vented.  I wanted to let my readers know that I’m not all sugar and spice and everything nice although mostly I am positive, upbeat, and keeping my head to the sky.

Now you know.  Later, gators.

About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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