Seen on the job boards 3

“Please do not apply if you are not had previous art training and experience.”

Please do not post if you don’t use proper grammar .

 “Please do not apply if it will take you more than 30 minutes travel to zip 02458.”

How about letting me decide how long I’m willing to drive to get to the job.  What about if it will take me 32 minutes?

You’ll need to be available from 7am to 9pm seven days a week.”

Really?   14 hour a day availability, 7 days a week.  I thought indentured servitude was illegal.

“Part-time position (30 hours per week) is responsible for timesheets, accounts payable and various marketing projects.”

30 hours a week is not a part-time job.  It is a full-time job that you’re squeezing into 30 hours to save money and so you don’t have to offer benefits.

“Medical Adult Day Care is looking for Administrator Assistant, who needs to speak Vietnams.”

Does anyone speak Vietnams?  Perhaps they meant Vietnamese.  Administrator Assistant? I think it’s called Administrative Assistant.  Heard of spell-check? (This was an English-language agency, readers, so don’t go ballistic about my being insensitive.)

You just never know what you might see on Craig’s List. The pay for this job is $50.00/hour.  Read the description and you’ll understand why.

Heading: Lice Removal (This is a FUN job.)

Currently seeking individuals to work in head lice removal for Lice Aunties in the Greater Boston area. I am looking for a few great people who are punctual, reliable, have great communication skills, a sense of humor, and offer outstanding customer service! We are a wonderful small company with great people and happy customers. Flexibility is a MUST, as most jobs are sporadic and are at an “on-call” basis, and you must have your own transportation. Having a great personality is crucial, since you will be working with children and inquiring parents. Experience highly desirable. You should be available at least a few hours every day and must be available by cell phone. No 9-5-ers and no weekend only please. This is a great and very fun job for the right person. References and background checks required. Please submit resume and cover letter.

Ewwhhhh.  What references would I provide for a headlice checking position?

We have a Full Time position available with PAID take home work. (A reliable internet connection at your home with a usable PC is required.) In-office schedule from 7:00am — 7:00pm Monday thru Friday and2 paid nights/wk PLUS 2 paid weekends a month from home.

      Don’t worry, I won’t be calling.  Can’t work those crazy hours.

Pl      Please, no phone calls about this job.

      How can I call you when you don’t list a name of company or phone # in the description?

Looking for a part-time Office Assistant to work Mon-Fri from 9am-2pm. Must be able to multitask, answer phones, relay messages. This is a part-time position that offers generous compensation ($400.00 weekly).

Uh, $400 isn’t generous for 25 hours/week in the USA.

The required schedule is Monday – Saturday, it is roughly 55/hrs per week all year.

Isn’t it illegal to require someone to work 55 hours per week?

We want you to delight the customer.

I can be delightful but I don’t control whether the recipient is delighted.  What some find delightful (perkiness)  others find annoying (perkiness).

Grump, grump, grump.

About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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3 thoughts on “Seen on the job boards

  • jim

    The sad truth is that you might apply to any one of the jobs you cite in spite of their half baked ads and they probably wouldn’t even acknowledge your application, resume or inquiry. Something’s broken! Is everything broken?

  • Candelaria

    It often feels like “everything” is broken.
    I would say that I’m dinged, bent but not broken.
    And, you are right, most of the jobs I’ve applied for (not any of these), do not acknowledge applications at all.
    A few have automated messages – I appreciate those.
    Thanks for commenting.

  • miruspeg

    Candelaria I am very glad I work for myself after reading these job ads!
    I loved reading your interaction in response to the ads.
    I believe it would be a good idea to email your comments to them…..go on!
    Warm hugs
    Peggy xxxx