Hello, Boston


Hello, Boston, do you hear me?
Hello, Boston.
What’s wrong with me?  I said hello in Boston and expected a return greeting.


(iStock photo.)

I say hello and you say, well, despite the lyrics to the song by the Beatles,* you often times don’t say a word, Boston; except for yesterday.  Yesterday was an exceptional day because on my walk up Ashmont Street to Ashmont Station, three, count them, three people spoke to me first.

This is noteworthy.

I vowed a few years back to act like the up-South, St. Louis-bred girl that I am and say hello to people as I pass them along the way, throughout my day.

I quickly had to vow that I would continue this practice even when people didn’t speak back to me.  It is my decision to say hello, it’s on them whether they speak back or not.

I try not to get my feelings hurt when people don’t speak back.  This is especially easy on days when I’m breezing along feeling sprightly.  On other days, as I’m trudging along or just feel a need for a spark of human connection, it is hard.  On still other days I’m feeling that all is right with the world and so joyful  I feel compelled to greet people.

It’s hard to have a greeting ignored and avoided. Sometimes I want to shout, “YOU KNOW YOU HEARD ME!  IS IT SO HARD TO SAY HELLO?”

Really, is it?

In terms of speaking, my observations are:

  • Teens and younger people speak back more than older people.  (The teens are often surprised that they’ve been spoken to.

  • Men speak back more than women do.

  • Walkers, joggers and cyclists are more apt to speak, wave or nod than people merely ambulating some place.  (There’s a camaraderie among those of us getting our “exercise on.”

  •  

Why do so many Bostonians, New Englanders not speak?

  • Is it the cold weather?

  • Is it the fact that there are so many of us in this crowded geography?

  • Is it that we’re often in a rush?

  • Or are we just some inconsiderate souls whose habit of not-greeting each other rubs off on non-natives once they life here? (Sorta like how, in order to survive as a driver in Boston, you have to adopt the dangerous driving habits/techniques of your brother and sister Bostonians.)

  •  

I don’t require a whole conversation with my greeting as is done down South.  That would be too much to ask and, hey, I’m usually rushing or heading someplace with all deliberate speed myself and not interested in getting sidetracked.  

But a hello, a return greeting, is that too much to ask?

<><><>

If you dig this post, you might also dig:  I saw you see me  (and pretend you didn’t)

*From “Hello, Goodbye” by The Beatles (lyrics by Paul McCartney & John Lennon)

“You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don’t know why you say goodbye
I say hello.”


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *