I don’t have an opinion that I’m willing to share 5

I don’t have an opinion – a new year’s resolution I just made.

The cat will have my tongue more this year.  And my fingers will hesitate, too.

I will have few opinions that I’m willing to share.

Next time, I will not respond to the email dialogue about the lack of diversity in the speaker-candidates put forward.

I will not verbalize  the fact that I’m working at yet another place that has more than 100 employees but only 1 full-time person of color and 1 part-time person of color.

Minding my business.

When various friends ask what do I think about their kids, their situations, their partner-candidates, or their  clothes, I’ll just make pitter-patter utterances.

Zipping my lip.

When told “this is the way I’ve always been” I will not suggest that change is possible or desirable.

Not filling in the blanks.

People don’t really want you to fill in their blanks. They want you to listen.  Agree.  Accept that the way it is, is a-okay.

To make a suggestion, give an opinion or even just offer an observation is taken as criticism, as a judgment, as rbeing a boat-rocker.   It makes people uncomfortable and geez-Louise I certainly don’t want to do that.

I’ve realized that not everybody wants feedback even when they ask for it, even from an ally who has their best interest at heart.  Institutions can run just the way they’ve been running.  Mediocrity seems to be an acceptable level at which to function.  Pretending the elephant is not in the room is current practice.  Leave the naked emperor unclothed.

I won’t stop caring but I will stop sharing.

I resolve.

About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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