More than One 4



One of the most important lessons we can teach our kids, particularly in their young adolescence, is the concept of more than one.  The more than one lesson must be repeated through the teenage and young adult years where it will hopefully be firmly implanted in their value system and understanding of the world.


More than one:


There is more than one college for you.


There is more than one relationship for you.


There is more than one love.


There is more than one job for you, in fact you’d better expect to have several different jobs and to own some sort of business.


There will be more than one rejection you’ll face, more than one sorrow, more than one source of pain.



There will be multiple triumphs, joys, and accomplishments.


There is more than one way to skin a cat and remember one monkey don’t stop no show.


Fish? There are plenty of fish in the sea.


Frogs? You’ve got to kiss a lot of them to get the handsome prince (or princess).


Heartache?  It will ache for a while but it does get better and sometimes even goes away.



And choices – they can be both/and not just either/or.



What about rain?  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow nailed this when he wrote:


Be still sad hear and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall.
Some days must be dark and reary.
(last stanza, The Rainy Day)

 



The Marvelettes sung “Too Many Fish in the Sea” written by Eddie Holland and Norman Whitfield:




Listen here, girls
Take this advice, and remember always in life:

Into each heart some tears must fall
Though you love and lose, you must stand tall
‘Cause we all got to cry sometimes
I said, sigh sometimes
Pull yourself together
No use crying forever
Because there’s too many fish in the sea
Too many fish in the sea
I said, there’s short ones, tall ones, fine ones, kind ones
Too many fish in the sea

My mother once told me something
And every word is true
Don’t waste your time on a fella
Who doesn’t love you
He’ll only mislead you
Only grieve you
Don’t worry about him
Do without him
Because there’s too many fish in the sea
Too many fish in the sea
I said, there’s short ones, tall ones, fine ones, kind ones
Too many fish in the sea

Well, if the fish isn’t on your line
Bait your hook and keep on trying
Don’t let him get you down
There’s other boys around
Because there’s too many fish in the sea
Too many fish in the sea
I said, there’s short ones, tall ones, fine ones, kind ones
Too many fish in the sea

I don’t want nobody that don’t want me
‘Cause there’s too many fish in the sea
Ain’t gonna love nobody that don’t love me, now
‘Cause there’s too many fish in the sea
I don’t need nobody that don’t need me
‘Cause there’s too many fish in the sea
I don’t want nobody that don’t love me, now
‘Cause there’s too many fish in the sea.*


The late poet, Lucille Clifton, had a poem that ended with these lines:


And I wish for you what I wish for myself:
More than one, more than one, more than one.**


(*Check out You Tube for a video of the Marvelletes singing)
(**When I find the whole poem, I’ll share it.)



About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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