Sound Reasons or Flimsy Excuses? 2

Your reasons are reasonable and if I didn’t know you, I’d believe them.  Because I know you and I’ve known you for a while, I’ve recognize that they are excuses. 

You keep talking about what you can’t do; about how difficult things are; about how difficult you had it growing up – although 10, 20, 30 years have passed since the period of your true vulnerability.  How long do you get to blame the events of the first 18 years of your life for what you’re not doing now?  (Especially since you are healthy and literate.)

You maintain a vise grip onto the crutches of religion, therapy, fear and inertia which are not motivated to make you well, independent and pursuing you dreams.

The clutter of the things that you’ve accumulated which you need to organize before you can work keep growing.  The piles have not been organized or depleted in all the years I’ve known each one of you. 

The banks of free-time that you said you need to create, you’ve actually had in the years I’ve known you, yet nothing has yet been created except reasons/excuses/explantions:

  • You need labels for your work before you can sell it.  (A reason that turned into an excuse when 3 places that provided inexpensive labels and a do-it-yourself article were provided.)
  • It’s been too long since the store owner said, “Yes, I’ll take a sample of your work to sell.”  Now you’re too embarrassed to circle back to follow-through.
  •  “I don’t have: blah-blah.”  “I can’t do: blah-blah.” “If only I got: blah-blah.” “I haven’t been inspired: blah-blah.” “I’ll be in next year’s show.” (You’ve said this for at least  5 years in a row).

We all have excuses about missed opportunities.  It’s painful and irritating to hear it from others especially from friends whose “reasons why not” keep changing.  It used to be that this _____ (fill in the blank) was the reason why not and  currently, it’s this _____ (fill in the blank) that’s the reason why there is no art being produced.  Then there’s the friend that has a ton of art work she’s produced, who says she needs money, but hasn’t attempted to sell anything.   

  • “I don’t know how to price my work:  Blah-Blah.
  • “___ is  charging too much for the table or too high a percentage for the consignment.” Blah-Blah.
  • I don’t have my artist statement or bio; I’m not as good a writer as you are.”  Blah-Blah.
  • “I’m gonna do it one day…when I’m ready. Blah-Blah.

Guess what?  There is no day called Ready Day.  Ready Day is the day you decide it is by doing something.

I’ve grown sick of hearing the reasons/excuses.  I want to play your words back to you so you can hear yourself and get out of your own way,  move on or even, dare I say, STOP!  Stop and admit that unless some magnificent, huge, magical thing happens, you are in fact not going to use the talent you are so blessed to have.  

What you don’t understand is that you are the magic (or lack thereof) in your lives.

  • That if you would do what you could do, you would attract what you desire.

  • That if you make one step, the universe will make two.

  • That you cannot make luck happen in a tsunami-kind of way but you can cause a ripple or two by doing.


Handling Rejection – An inspirational essay by Candelaria Silva.

Don’t Say No to Yourself

You’re Broke Because You Want to Be and Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get a Life by Larry Winget  (Warning, if you don’t like blutness, don’t read his books.)


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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