When they need you, they will find you. They will text you, email you, or call you.
Turns out they hadn’t not known how to be in touch. Their computer hadn’t crashed. They hadn’t lost your number or email address. They weren’t lying in a coma or suffering from amnesia. They just didn’t feel a need to be in touch until now.
They hadn’t felt it necessary to occasionally acknowledge or even answer your emails, texts, or phone calls. But, now, they’ve gotten in touch because they need something from you. You oblige, not necessarily happily, because that’s who you are. You are delighted in a few cases to hear from the person, after so very long, and catch up. You try not to be resentful but so many requests have come in, in the last week that you feel that you are drowning.
Can you write me a recommendation? (Due in four days.)
Did you see my email requesting a recommendation? (Sent by text.)
Remember that name you gave me about that apartment? (Wasn’t this two or so years ago?) I’m checking in now…and oh, by the way, I do appreciate all of the info and resources you’ve sent.
A text comes in and says, “Call me as soon as you can to talk about” something very important to me that I want your help with even though I don’t know you other than that one conversation we had months ago about an untenable situation.
I’ve updated my website…I need help with my newsletter…oh, yeah, and how are you?
Can you get me discount tickets for…(2 requests in 3 days. Uh, I haven’t worked with the Community Membership Initiative in two years. They must have missed that memo.)
Would you talk to my son, my niece, my friend about this and that? Would you help with this, advise about that?
Tell me about how you got your books published. Help me do it (even though half the time, they don’t want to do the steps I did.)
I’m being cranky, I know. I’ll get through this rush of requests in this busiest of seasons. Maybe I need let all calls just go to VM, then listen to them in the stillness to see if I can say yes or need to say no. Maybe I need to curtail the bounty of information I share. I know I have to manage the expectations of others and my feeling obligated to help. I like to be helpful but I’m feeling smothered by so many requests from so many different people.
Tighten up, Candelaria. Tighten up.