When? Who? 4

If not now, when?

If not me, who?*

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.**

So if you haven’t won “it” yet then you have to keep going until you do.

You also have to define success for yourself.

You have to notice the mini-wins along the way while continuing to pursue the elusive one.

This is message is for… well, if they read this blog as they say they do, they’ll know who I mean.

I understand your disappointment and frustration.

  • I don’t understand your anger and envy.

  • I don’t understand letting not getting that one “it” color everything with sorrow and anger.

  • I don’t understand a loss making you distance yourself from the other ones and things you love.

What I’ve learned is that there is not “one it.” 
There’s just the latest “it” in a series of “its” as you live your life, expand your goals, see new opportunities and follow myriad paths.

Baskets?  Don’t put all your eggs in one.

When it’s your turn, it’s your turn.  And when it’s not your turn, it’s not. 

When the stars align they do.

Meanwhile, keep on keeping on.  Keep doing your best and refining your work.

It ain’t over until the fat lady sings and I ain’t singing.

* Borrpwed from: “If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”  (Hillel the Elder, c. 60BC-10AD)
**This quote was first attributed to Coach Henry Russell (“Red”) Saunders in the early 1950s.  It has also been attributed to Coach Vince Lombardi.)


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More than One

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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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4 thoughts on “When? Who?

  • Dea

    Your words screamed out to me cause in some ways it is me! Before I would have never put all my eggs in one basket but… since April 2013 that is all I have done. And I have put loved ones on the back burner since they haven’t listened to my words. I have become very self centered and for those who know me, know this just isn’t me. I’m still a work in progress and I’m going to work on that giving up too soon attitude that is showing it’s ugly head. Thanks :0)

  • Candelaria

    Sometimes, we do have to have to focus to get things accomplished…finishing school for example.  But we do have to be careful not to be so focused that only one thing matters.  It is a delicate balance.  I’m glad my words spoke to you and that you took the time to comment.  Thank you.

  • Carolyn

    This posting truly resonates with me. Over the last 12-months, I have come to understand how important it is NOT become married to a specific outcome—especially one that I design. I’ve learned that I am not able to create my best possible outcome–I do all that I can and then I flip it over the wall to God. When God answers a prayer, it is always better than I could have imagined so I prefer to wait on God’s answer. Sadly, not everyone operates at this level of faith and trust and generally they are imprisoned by disappointment, anger and fear (torment)… (Sigh). Thanks for sharing.