I love being a grandmother. (Love, love, love!) It is one of the roles I am gifted at because I am purposely embracing the role. I am being the grandmother I wanted to have (which includes bits of the grandmother I actually did have.)
I am a better grandmother than I was a mother. As a mother, I was in learning mode. I was growing with my two children, who I had in my early 20s. As a young mother, I was anxious; always rushing forward to when they would get older, acquire new skills, finish this, move on to that. Little did I know how quickly their childhood years would go and that once they were launched, my children would never be mine in the same way again.
As Grandi, I savor the developmental phases my grandchildren go through. I notice their insights. I say yes more (mothers tend to say no more). I cook and bake. I play games – board and ones we create. (I know now to set limits in advance, we’ll play one game of Life or two games of matching tiles before we get started).
I play dolls –real and virtual. I race cars and push the swing and other playground equipment. I play dress up, get my hair styled and make-up applied. I read & tell stories as well as listen to stories read & told to me.
I provide a lap, a shoulder, listening ears, observant eyes & receive & give all the hugs I can. I say I love you. I laugh and laugh and laugh.
The July takeover of my life by my beloved granddaughter, Saige, has ended. I returned her and to Charlotte, where I “loved up” her siblings & assumed my “Canderella” duties. In Charlotte, My love got spread around to her siblings and my “play” grandson with enough left to be felt by my daughter who got me started on the parenting journey.
Let me say it again, “I love being a grandmother.” I know what is required of me in this role (unlike other roles in my life whose requirements keep shifting). I am soft and firm. I provide respite and relief from the incredible demands on children and families. I overflow with joy and try to maintain grace. (Except when I’ve done too much, having to still meet work and other obligations. When I get tired, I get cranky.)
I apologize to my children that I wasn’t more of a grandmother to them when they were growing up.
I thank my lucky stars that I have grandchildren and the well-being to be in their lives – though not as fully as I would like to be because of the distance. They allow me to turn back the clock to the most joyful time of my adult life, mothering, and allow me to do it more mindfully this go ‘round.
LUMUHUKU – Grandi
(Photo of Saige by Lolita Parker, Jr. Thank you.)
Beautiful post, Candelaria. Almost makes me wish I had had the opportunity to be a grandmother. Your family is so fortunate to have you in their lives.
Thanks for making this comment. I’m sure you’ve been a great Godmother and surrogate aunt to kids. Being a grandmother suits me…except for the being oldish part.
very nice, I know how you feel. Thanks
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I’m glad know how I feel.
While I long to be granny, Grammy, gran diva, thank you for sharing & expressing what I anticipate with my beautiful not yet born grandchildren! I, too, spent a lot of time looking ahead toward my two sons’ benchmarks and achievements instead of living in the moment. Knowing what I know now I’ve slowed down to enjoy moments with my sons.
Your granny day will come but not quite yet. Not time.
Thanks for commenting.
I feel I would be a better “grandmother” too. Thank you for sharing your insights.
Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.
Isn’t growing old a treat Candelaria!
We gain wisdom, which enables us to enjoy life to the fullest.
Beautiful post my friend, I enjoyed reading it immensely.
Namaste and hugs
Thanks for commenting on my post from “down under.” Peace, contentment and wisdom as our life journey continues.
While I have some time before I experience being a grandmother I agree that while being a mother and moving each child through the stages it goes entirely too quickly. I am cherishing all the moments I can get with my three as one enters his junior year of college, one his high school senior year and my youngest enters her high school sophomore year. Time passes quickly, cherish being a better grandmother as I cherish my role as mother.
It does go very quickly…I am glad you are cherishing each day. Thanks for taking the time to comment.