The Missing Panties Caper 3


A pair of my panties has gone missing.  I don’t know how long they’ve been AWOL.  Let me explain.

I have a wardrobe of lingerie.  I’m not as meticulous as my Mom but I do try to coordinate my undies with my tops.  This is why I don’t know how long they’ve been missing.  I went looking for them to go with a particular outfit.  They were nowhere to be found.

I reorganized my pantie drawer in the process of searching for them.

Where could they be? I asked out loud and went tearing through the house – asking each location plaintively like the bird in the children’s story, “Are You My Mother?” – Do you have my panties?Magnifying-Glass

  • I searched the dirty clothes hamper.  Not there.
  • I searched the space between the washer and the dryer where clothes have sometimes been known to drop.  Not there.
  • I moved the hamper, got on my knees to search under the bed, chairs, bureaus and side tables.  Not there, either.

Where oh where can they be?  This was a few weeks ago.

Sometimes, an errant sock or wash cloth will turn up clinging to  a sheet or towel or pillowcase in the process of tumbling in the dryer.  Sometimes, the missing item is found in my husband’s drawer or in a stack of shirts, having been put away in the wrong place.  Eventually, missed clothing is found.

It’s been a while now and those panties are gone.  Did “the Borrowers” take them?  (Why would they want my panties, any how?)

In other days they might have been left at a lover’s house or tossed in a moment of urgency and suspended on a light fixture or curtain rod…don’t laugh, it has happened.

My grandmother once accused my grandfather of having a “one-legged heifer” steal one of her pumps when she couldn’t find the mate.  This joke ran in my family for a while.  Did a no-pantie-wearing-heifer take my panties in a huff?

The mystery continues…What have you lost in your very own space?  I know I’m not alone.

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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.


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