You don’t have to post it just cause you wrote it. Everything you think, you don’t have to say.
I did something I haven’t done in a long time last night. I tore up a draft of a blog post I’d written on paper in a little bit of time I seized between meetings. I was about three-quarters finished with it.
Something said to me to run the post by my husband before I finalized it. I’ve learned to listen to something. Something is a Wise Woman. So I gave it to him.
“Let me know what you think of this…do you think I should post it?”
He read it, looked at me and said, “Don’t post this.”
We had a five minute discussion about it, and then I tore the paper up into pieces. He tried to stop me at the first started tearing up. “It’s your writing, if you believe in it but it will cause…” I interrupted him because we’d already gone over that. “No,” I said, “It’s no problem, everything I think I don’t have to write.” I realized, vividly, that a few people might get so stuck on the particulars that they wouldn’t get to the bigger points I was trying to make. So I did something I’m becoming quite accomplished at: letting go. I tore the paper with my words on it, my feeling on it, forcefully.
Everything I think, I don’t have to say. Every event that happens, I don’t have to attend, won’t be able to attend, and don’t have to analyze.
I can hold it in.
I can let it go.
I can rise above.
No one has to know.
I won’t write about the wedding, the meeting, the committee, the cra-cra, the gall, the visit, the lack of gratitude, the clueless, the lies, the hypocrisy, or the frustration.
I will hold my tongue.
Cede my ground,
Tamp it down,
Go with the flow until I can go.
I’ll self-silence this go round.
I am feeling so weary and empty and stupid as I write this. Why? Why? Why, Candelaria? To paraphrase the lyrics to Band on the Run by Lynda and Paul McCartney – “If I ever get out of here, gonna give it all away, to a registered charity…if I ever get out of here.”
We can all take a page from this. Write it and release it. The releasing is the hardest (but most necessary) part!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and to write this comment. It is hard to hold it in sometimes but we need to choose when to hold and when to release. Be well.
What a wonderful gesture from your husband too
Yes. He’s usually the “rabble-rouser”. And if said, don’t publish it, I knew I should listen to him. Thanks for taking time to read and leave a comment.
Well said. As I age I’ve begun to balance and value things said and most importantly, unsaid.
Thanks for leaving a comment. Appreciating each is useful and knowing when to say and when to not say as well.
If my humble opinion matters, this post is one of your very best. You wrote with integrity…Said only what you meant…used your writing power and fabulous skills in the direction of truth and love. As I said: “This post is one of your very best:..
Thank you for reading and taking time to post this compliment.
I can most certainly identify with this idea of “You don’t have to post it..just because you wrote it…” As a fervent activist writer, I often feel the pressing urge to always say whats on my mind regarding what’s going on in the world. But I have felt pangs of apprehension about publishing my true feelings. And I suppose I should heed your insightful and wise post as a cautionary tale. Thank you for posting, well at least this time around…
One of the challenges of social media is its quickness. It is easy to fall into a trap of quick responses rather than thoughtful responses. I also try to separate when I’m saying something of value or just truly venting. I also believe in holding some of my thoughts back and weighing whether I am venting or being venomously clever. Thanks for taking time to read and leave a comment.