I don’t want to be:
- A bitch
- A witch
- A person with a chip on my shoulder
- The person who steers an event from positive to negative
- The words that rain on the parade
- Catty just to be catty
- Negative just to be negative
- Exclusionary
- An obstacle or block
- The Curmudgeon or contrarian
Recently, I was witness to conversations where I saw women obliterate an event that was going well with their words, tone, volume and attitude. They were so effective in sucking the love-vibe out of the room that in my mind’s eye, I quickly rushed to the mirror to look at myself.
Do I do that? I asked ,myself. I don’t’ want to do that.
Oh, no or should I say oh, yes, I have done that. I have copped a ‘tude and changed the temperature of the meeting or encounter.
After witnessing the behavior, I realize I have to work hard not to do that. I have to get a grip. I don’t have to say everything I think – especially those first forceful thoughts.
I don’t have to:
- Magnify
- Illuminate
- Explain
- Fill in the gaps
- Show how much I know think I know
How many people and ideas have I blocked because of:
- My impatience
- My rudeness
- Not listening
- My way or the highway
- My pushiness
- A bad mood
- Insecurity
- Being around people who push my buttons (usually because of my issues with class, naiveté and know-it-alls)
- Etcetera
Even when my motives have been to help by clarifying a situation, pointing out the elephant in the room or speaking truth to power, I was rain instead of soil. So, I’m going to practice counting to 25 before I speak; sending my thoughts – if truly necessary – via email, a note or the feedback form; or mindfully meditating to get calm and focus on the speaker/presenter and keeping my mouth shut. Don’t think I’m zoning out, I’m turning in.
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