Do You and Your Mate, Lover, Spouse do Couple-y Things? 2


I didn’t do any of it in high school. I didn’t do any of it in college. I didn’t do any of it in my first marriage.

The “it” is those “we’re a couple” moves that some couples do. I wouldn’t say that their old school but I’m not sure how much they are in favor now. You know:

  • Wearing matching outfits or, the less gag-worthy, wearing the same colors.
  • Sending a Christmas greeting card emblazoned with a photo of my husband and me.
  • Getting an annual couple portrait.
  • Having pet names.

I never did any of that sort of thing in previous relationships. Suddnly,  I got the urge; that lovey-dovey feeling came over me on the 4th of July. My husband and I were heading up to Maine with our favorite cousins-couple and, as I was picking out what to wear, I realized I had a shirt that was the same color green as one I’d just brought back for him from a trip to visit our granddaughter.

He had selected an orange shirt to wear. So, I ironed both shirts (yes, I’m an ironer) and hoped he would notice my green top and pick the green shirt. He even asked me if I’d like him to wear the green shirt.

“That would be nice,” I grinned.

He gave me one of his “oh, puh-leeze” smirks.

I, ever optimist, just knew he was going to indulge me this tiny, little thing.

I finished dressing as he was heading to the shower. When he came downstairs, he had on the orange shirt. He said it was because he realized he’d have to change his shorts and they weren’t ironed.

It was really because he didn’t want to be all matchy-matchy, lovey-dovey, saccharine-sweet couple-y.

My feelings were hurt for a minute. I got over it – even though our cousins were dressed similarly in athletic wear. (A fact my husband noticed and mentioned.)

I’m here to tell you and him, that while I don’t know what made the desire to wear matching shirts come up in me; I do know that it will happen. It would be nice for us to be co-OR-dinated as the comedian John Witherspoon pronouces it  in one of his famous routines.
(Private message: Darling, what you resist, persists. I am patient and persistent. The matching outfits will be happening.)

So, to all you couples out there – do you do couple-ly things? Holla.
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Believing My Husband
A Ring-Tone of Love


About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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2 thoughts on “Do You and Your Mate, Lover, Spouse do Couple-y Things?

  • Jim

    No, never. Once in a while by accident, but truly not matchy, matchy. Yicck…it makes me feel like an unwilling twin.

    As for you, I think you’ve got your work cut out for you. It’ll have to be a clandestine maneuver; you’ll have to dress after him. For the women I grew up with that is almost an impossibility.