Forgiveness – 1 2

I try to forgive you.  I forgive you.


I forgive you for not choosing me – as girlfriend/woman/wife, as employee, as prize-winner, and as member.

I tried and this I forgave.


I forgive you for making fun of me, for blocking my admittance, for not keeping your promise(s), and for not repaying the loan.

It took some time but this I forgave.


I forgive the abandonment, the abuse and the exclusion.  I forgive you for not telling the truth, for not sharing your wisdom, for not exposing my naiveté and ignorance, for not challenging me, and for letting me fester.

It was difficult, there were many false starts but, ultimately, these things I forgave.


I want to forgive the erosion of belief, the acceptance of less, the withdrawal and closing-off, the weakening of resolve and ambition, and the ambivalence that seems to have taken up permanent residence.


I should forgive these but try as I might I cannot give to myself what I have to others.  I cannot, yet, forgive myself.



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I Apologize to Myself


I Apologize to Others


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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.

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2 thoughts on “Forgiveness – 1

  • Amy M

    Not forgiving yourself and basically in effect treating yourself worse than you treat others will only perpetuate those very things. Work harder to forgive yourself and maybe a little less at forgiving others. Sometimes forgiving others too quickly will also perpetuate your other things as well. Take care of you!

  • Candelaria

    There’s wisdom in your words.  I am still a bit perturbed with myself but moving forward nonetheless because the past can’t be changed.  Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.