If it’s the thought that counts 2


If it’s the thought that counts, have the right thought.  Act like you know.  Act like you know me;  who I am, what I like, and how I roll.

If it’s the thought that counts, how could you think that of me? I mean really.  Do you see who I am?  Do you even look at me?  (And I’m sure you’ve thought the same of me – what was she thinking?)

Years ago, my then boyfriend bought me a pin made of leather that was the recreation of an eyeball – bug-eyed eyeball.  It was bugly (beyond ugly) and creepy.  After I finished rolling my eyes and pursing my lips, I asked him, “What made you think I would like that?”  And he said, “You like unusual jewelry.”

Hmmmm.  While I admit that I did wear colorful jewelry, it was unusual only because it wasn’t traditional – made by street vendors who were abundant in those days, but never, ever did I wear anything creepy.  I thanked him profusely and gave it back to him.  He’s the same boyfriend who rented a hotel room at the lake without a lake view, nice thought but no, not the right execution.

If it’s the thought that counts, why don’t you pay attention?

This one I have to apply to myself, who went to the liquor store to buy her husband cognac and couldn’t figure out for the life of her, which cognac he drank.  Turns out you can’t exchange liquor.  Sigh.  I was trying to surprise him.  I ended up surprising myself – he is not a Hennessey man.  While he’ll drink it (sort of has to since I surprised him with a bottle), if I’d just paid closer attention, I would have known the brand he favor.  remy-martin-cognacThe recently emptied bottle that I’d recycled was a huge clue. My only excuse is that I don’t drink and just don’t pay that much attention.  (I have now put the info on his preferred brand in my phone so I’ll remember if I ever decide to get him liquor again.)

If it’s the thought that counts, make an effort.

  • Dinner and candlelight
  • A card with a personal message
  • Music and dancing (vs just music)
  • A bath and a massage
  • An apology and penance
  • Forgiving and forgetting

There I go, off on a tangent.  I’ll stop.  I do appreciate the thoughts, I do, I do… as an indicator of and a first step to…execution and nailing it.

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About Candelaria Silva

Candelaria Silva-Collins is a marketing, community outreach and programming consultant; writer; and trainer/facilitator who lives in Boston, Massachusetts. She has designed and facilitated workshops on a wide variety of topics including communication, facilitation, job search skills, team building, and parenting issues. She currently coordinates the Community Membership Program of the Huntington Theatre Company. Her work as Director of ACT Roxbury was profiled in several publications, including The Creative Communities Builders Handbook. Candelaria’s children’s stories, short stories, essays and reviews have been published in local and national publications and she is an active blogger. Her publications include the booklets, Handling Rejection; Pushing through Shyness: Networking Tips when You’re Shy, Slow to Warm Up or Just don’t Feel you Belong; and Real Questions about Sex & Relationships for Teens: A Discussion Guide for Parents. She has served on the boards of Goddard College, Wheelock Family Theatre, Boston Foundation for Architecture, and Discover Roxbury. She is currently Chair, Designators of the Henderson Foundation.


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2 thoughts on “If it’s the thought that counts

  • Carolyn

    Amen and ouch! I completely agree about “the thought;” what I realize is I have forsaken planning time to have a thought and executing
    that thought—this applies to myself as well as others.
    Thanks for this piece.

    • Candelaria Silva Post author

      Thanks for reading and leaving a comment. Buying things in haste, running out of ideas, being on a budget so you can’t always give what you really want to give, etc., can contribute to wrong execution. And some people don’t see us clearly or are just not good givers.